She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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