Kiss
Puke
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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