She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize