8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
nutella sex= disaster
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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