i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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