tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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