I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
