You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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