So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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