it was like eating out sand paper
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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