I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
