youre lurking in front of me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
