Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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