Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
