I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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