ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
