Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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