she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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