You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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