she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
