just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
