My balls are so social today.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
