Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
