I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
