Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
