Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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