she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize