Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
