wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
