Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
