He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
