the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
