dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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