like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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