why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
