are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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