So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
