i already hear my dad disowning me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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