Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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