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• (917): View more from New York City

  I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  We've been saying that since '98

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

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• (858): View more from California

  she takes plan B like it's going out of style

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world

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• (626): View more from California

  i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over

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• (979): View more from Texas

  You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt

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