This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
one might say we're banned from that church
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
