This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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