i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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