I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
