his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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