I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
