Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you never un-have a 4some
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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