guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
