Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
