Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
