I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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