Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
