wat bout pragnant strippers??
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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