Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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