Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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