called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
