I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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