DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
